i am busy.

i am busy. very very busy.

but i spend most of my time thinking how do i make my life perfect again.

but u will argue with me saying there is no such things as a perfect life.

but there is. when u dont have a financial problem, ur life is perfect.

when u have a thousand euro in ur account and can use that money to buy u a flight ticket back home, ur life is perfect.

when ur best friends dont ignore ur existence, ur life is perfect. or it can be vice versa, when u dont ignore ur best friends existence in this world, and try to work things out with them, maybe ur life is perfect.

or maybe if ur really2 alone in this world, when u dont have to listen ur father annoying comment about ur shopping habits, or when u dont spend most of ur time thinking about what actually the problem is with ur friends, or when u dont have exams coming up, well maybe at that time ur life is perfect.

i am not perfect. i am so far from perfect. i dont have always have anything right to say to you. i dont always have time to listen to ur problems. i dont keep in touch. u will never be my number one person. none of u will. i lost my interest easily. i dont apologize. i dont do cards, or presents.

but people always forget. they always thought i am none of the above. well i'm not. i am capable of hurting, and get hurt. i do have heart. despite of all the laughing, i am not who u think i am. i dont show feelings, and i will probably never say what i really think. because i believe something is better left unsaid.