on crappy day like this, i miss u

i miss u. but i dont know if i say i miss u to you and u dont say it back i'll stop missing u. and because of that, i cant say i miss u. but i do!

sad

i'm sad. n tired. k bai.

i'm just saying 2

anyway my post earlier in 'im just saying' seems hanging so im going to continue a little bit on my rant.

anyway continuing on about the kind of life that i want to live, deep down i might still hope that i can live like that someday but truthfully i just didn't see it will come true. because as you grow older, your responsibility get bigger. so all the bullshit that you seem to believe earlier when your young seems to fade. about living for yourself and not for someone else. that's just bullshit. you know that you can't live alone and just abandone your responsibility as a daughter, as a sister, as a grandaughter, as a friend, as a citizen and the list goes on.

so im just saying im fucked. haha ok get back to study. oh how i hate medicine now.

i'm just saying

i whined a lot when i was in dublin. i was bored. bored with medicine, and bored with my set of friends back then that i think dont know how to enjoy life. (seriously, have u ever befriend a medic student? they can be pretty boring esp. during exam period. but what the hell, im also am like that. i cut all communication with outside world during exam period)

i remember one summer when i came back from dublin i was really keen on quitting medicine. because i thought at the time i was seeing the bigger picture of life. because i thought at that time i dont want to be a cliche. that is get my degree, be a doctor, get married and have kids. i just want to be an anti-cliche. i want to travel around the world, not just travel, but actually living in the country for a while, make money from being a waitress in small coffee shop, and during weekend i'll walk and walk and taking pictures of the place. and ready to leave again when i have enough money to purchase a plane ticket for my next destination. that's the kind of life that i want. because i believe that life is something that u should enjoy. and u should live for yourself and not for anybody else. (funny when i think of this, japan always popped into my head)

but who am i kidding? i can never live like that kan?

and now i think studying is just not my thing. sure, i get ok result (by ok i mean low average. haha) but for the studying part? its just not a do-able thing for me. i cant study. or i wont study? im not sure which one is it, cant or wont.

review filem: MAGIKA *no spoiler, i promise*

i never planned to watch magika actually but last week a friend from India came to visit and because we dont know where to go to here in penang so we decided to go to movie instead. ok lah to be honest i actually did want to go watch magika but the desire wasnt that strong.

why i want to watch magika in the first place?
reason no 1. its a musical! i have a thing for musical ok. (i love high school musical and its not only because of zac efron, damn he's hot. and camp rock?? totally lovin' it! and sell out, and hindi movies? does that count? hehe)
2. because its malay version of alice in wonderland.
3. because its different and i like different. (eventhough i rarely watch malay movie, i watched pisau cukur (solely because of fazura) and setem (because its different!)

BUT... because there's mawi in the cast as BAD (lol), it kind of draw me back. besides there's wall street showing.

anyway im so glad i watched it! eventho at that time i realli want to watch wallstreet instead. the story is very simple, but the movie as a whole, is FUCKING AWESOME. i dont really like diana's acting but she's allright. at least she's better than mawi. i think mawi improved but heck how would i know if i never watch any of his movie before. but he wasnt that bad. but not good either. other characters are all awesome i think. especially ziana zain.

and the songs. edry is such a musical genius. all the songs are very pleasant to ear. and my favorite song/scene is when diana and pak pandir singing and then later joined by mak andeh. so cute and funny and so musical like!

lastly, i love it how its so colourful in the magika land. damn beautiful. the colour of the grass, of maya's clothes, the sky seems so vivid and clear. love it!