i'm just saying

i whined a lot when i was in dublin. i was bored. bored with medicine, and bored with my set of friends back then that i think dont know how to enjoy life. (seriously, have u ever befriend a medic student? they can be pretty boring esp. during exam period. but what the hell, im also am like that. i cut all communication with outside world during exam period)

i remember one summer when i came back from dublin i was really keen on quitting medicine. because i thought at the time i was seeing the bigger picture of life. because i thought at that time i dont want to be a cliche. that is get my degree, be a doctor, get married and have kids. i just want to be an anti-cliche. i want to travel around the world, not just travel, but actually living in the country for a while, make money from being a waitress in small coffee shop, and during weekend i'll walk and walk and taking pictures of the place. and ready to leave again when i have enough money to purchase a plane ticket for my next destination. that's the kind of life that i want. because i believe that life is something that u should enjoy. and u should live for yourself and not for anybody else. (funny when i think of this, japan always popped into my head)

but who am i kidding? i can never live like that kan?

and now i think studying is just not my thing. sure, i get ok result (by ok i mean low average. haha) but for the studying part? its just not a do-able thing for me. i cant study. or i wont study? im not sure which one is it, cant or wont.