a letter to a 14 year old me

dear 14 year old sheila,

as you grow older, u will find that some things doesnt occur as you thought it will be. u will came across few things that u never thought will happened, and few things that u never think will affect you deeply, things that you thought you hate but only later to find that you love it.

you always think of Paris and Eiffel tower as cliche and only for hopeless romantic and when people say they want to visit Paris you wanted to puke your stomach out. but only later you know that it is actually romantic and breathtaking and it will be one of your favourite city. and Eiffel is so magnificent that your heart literally stop for a few seconds when u saw it for the first time. (eventhough it is only made of steel).

you always thought that you are a forgiving person but you only realize at age 23 that actually you are not. and when you were hurt deeply it takes a very long time for the scar to heal.

you always thought that you wanted to be a surgeon. and when you enter surgical rotation you actually believe that surgery is your soul mate. but then you havent met obs and gynae at that time. and you always thought that obs and gynae is the 2nd biggest cliche after paris and you will only realize that you actually like obs and gynae a bit too much once you enter 2nd week of your obs and gynae rotation. you like it too much that sometimes it hurts. (lol) and you realize that babies are beautiful and they dont look like a one day old mice at all. and you will also realize that you dont want to give birth by caesarian section because you worry that you might die due to pulmonary embolism because its too painful after that you dont want too move at all.

you will never thought that you actually cannot drive manual car. and the fact that you will only get your license when you're 20, not 17 like you always thought.

and the most shocking thing is that you hate learning mandarin eventhough it has always been your dream to learn it. you'll hate it so much that you feel like crying everytime you want to go to mandarin class.

you will never believe it but you will actually get a chance to study abroad. before this every time you saw the salam perantauan column in newspapers during raya season you always said that you want to study abroad but even then you never really thinking about it. and what you did not expect the most is the fact that you dont have a really good time there and you were miserable almost all the time.

you will never believe it when i say that you will eventually evolve from an extrovert to an introvert.

thats all i can think about now. i shall write to you again once im wiser and older. hahaha take care of yourself and just bear with school. i know how much you hate it.

p/s: skip clasess as much as you want because you will never get into trouble from it.

love,
a 24 year old you.