money money money

i'm having trouble with money lately. mara gave us a month rm 770, and out of that i need to pay my rent for rm350. and these last two months is the worse, because all the extra money that i have in the bank had all been used up which means i only really have rm770 to spend per month. which is obviously not enough.

and now i can see my parents' view about the whole money thing. how and why they keep objecting whenever i want to go for a vacation, or buying a new camera. i remember that we keep having a fight of how i keep using my scholar money to go for vacations. how i said that it's my money and as long as i didn't ask money from them then i'm free to do what i want with that money.

my principle is simple. it's okay to spend as long as it makes you happy. and that is why i never really care paying for rm10 ringgit for black coffee as long as its delicious. and why i keep planning and going on holiday as it makes me very very happy. but my father's view is very different. he keeps saying that we should save for rainy days and as for students your responsbility is to study, not spending money on unnecessary thing.

we had plenty of arguments over this matter. whenever i'm planning on going on a vacation, my parents would totally be cold to me, which i'm really sad about because of their lack of support and understanding. sometimes i think its very unfair and frustating. when your parents dont understand about your interest and passions.

but now, i'm started to feel that i'm wrong. and my parents are right. because when you had no money left especially when you really really need it, all the happiness that you get from all your vacations, or expensive coffee and ice cream that you eat doesn't make you feel better. and it sucks when your broke. really really sucks.

and i feel very guilty whenever i call my father saying that i want to go back home and i need to used his credit card to buy the flight tickets. i feel really really guilty. because however you think about it, it is so unfair that i keep using his money to buy my flight tickets to go back home but i'm thinking to spend my money on a vacation instead.

so anyway no more vacation for me then. and no lx3. im just gonna put my photography hobby on hold. so much of wanting to experiementing with lomo huh? and as i have nothing else to do then why dont i just get my lazy ass concentrating on studying instead?



p/s: thank god i'm not really into shopping. ;P
pp/s: ten, i think i need to put our plan on hold. but i'll keep praying that mara will give me extra money when the new year comes! lol